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Monday, December 31, 2012

153 deadtime

. twenty- seven
 his ex
stevie refused to help me search for her sister .
eric . too . remaind unconvinced that lisa's absence constituted a crisis ." she neeeds a little time . she'll be in touch ," he told me ." don't worry so much ."
"but- " i'd say , before he' interrrupt me right back .
" she doesn't want our baby . she can have one of her own whenever she wants ."
then where the hell is she ?
beisdes being a teacher , eric was a policy consultant . he counseled big business and famous politicians and goverments of all stripes . he rarely told me what he told any of them . but me ? for me he usually counseled patience . at face value , in these circumstances , it was a reasonble position . but  when i pressed the fact that lisa was carrying our child in her womb , her failure to stay in touch with us for even a few days seemed like the most unreasonable act imaginable .
being patient did not seem reasonable . barely even posssible .
i tried to counter my natural impulse , which was to demand that riec see things from my perspective , instead endeavoring with all my might to allow him to enjoy the prime spot at the front of our nascent family 's very short line . he was reminding me every day -  twice some days .

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