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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

156 deadtime

.       twenty eight
    her ex
i'd been back in boulder for less than a day when wallace got in touch with me again . the screen on my cell phone read POTEET .
his call distracted me from the intensity with i was missing my family  . and adrienne .
during the first few weeks after her funeral , jonas's grief at his mother's deadth was palpable . i'd tried to set aside my own sadness . but with my wife and daughter in europe , and jonas in new york , the eastern rim of the boulder valley had a huge hole where adrienne's beating heart had been .  i felt her absence from spanish hills like an increase in atmospheric pressure . nothing was as light as it had been . the sky seemed smaller .
"hi , wallace ," i said ." i'd had no idea how long walllace's deliberations were going to take . i was convinced  that he and cassandra would reach a decision that it wouldn't be cara 's best interest to talk with me about the grand canyon thing .
i expected wallace and i would talk vaguely about the power of old wounds . i would accept wallace 's determination with neither argument nor disappointment . merideth , with whatever help sam could grand canyon mystery on her own . or she wouldn't .
"listen ," he said in a voice that cut off the small talk the way a sharp knife takes the top off a banana ." i need a favor . a big .... favor ."

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