. " you did ?" no judgment in his question . maybe aittle wonder , but no judgment .
" we didn't go ."
" she turned you down ?"
"she said yes. i could tell what was on the desert menu ."
he went quite again . i could hear him breathing until he said , "lemon meringue pie?"
i laughed ," something like that ," i said .
"so you stood her up ?" when i didn't answer immediately , he added ," you can make me ask a ton of questions here , alan , or you can just tell mw what the hell happened , i got nothing but time . my tabnk's half full , you're on speaker , and there's paved highway in front of me as far as i can see ."
"i canceled . but i wanted to see her . i'm trying to honest ."
"can i interject a thought ? maybe i've been missing something , hanging with you all these years , but it certainly seems to me that you're suddenly much more willing to walk up the roulette wheel and bet your marital future on red/blacvk than you used tio be , you aware of that ?"
i recalled his grand canyonmetaphor . the drip drip of erosion versus the drama of cataclysm . the last year of my life had taught me about erosion . i was toying with lesson about cataclysm . i said , " at some level i was tempted ."
"you're focusing on what's tempting , not why you're tempted . that's the trap . been there , doesn't work out ."
"go on ."
" you might be the relationship expert , but i'm the fucking up mean . and lessons are what they are .god , they are . but it sounds tome like yyou're looking for solutions in places where you ain't got no problems ."
country song ? i thought ." which means what ?"
"from where i sit , your problem is at home . if that 's the case , youcan't solve it in new york or LA . by letting the WMD out of the bunker with some hottie . that's when things go south . fot tonight at least , you avoided that . you did > alan ?" without offering me much latitude for a timely response , he added ," right ?"
"i did ."
""got to feel good about that , yes ?"
any initial reticence that sam might have felt about having this kind of conversation with me had evaporated . he was officially into it .
" we didn't go ."
" she turned you down ?"
"she said yes. i could tell what was on the desert menu ."
he went quite again . i could hear him breathing until he said , "lemon meringue pie?"
i laughed ," something like that ," i said .
"so you stood her up ?" when i didn't answer immediately , he added ," you can make me ask a ton of questions here , alan , or you can just tell mw what the hell happened , i got nothing but time . my tabnk's half full , you're on speaker , and there's paved highway in front of me as far as i can see ."
"i canceled . but i wanted to see her . i'm trying to honest ."
"can i interject a thought ? maybe i've been missing something , hanging with you all these years , but it certainly seems to me that you're suddenly much more willing to walk up the roulette wheel and bet your marital future on red/blacvk than you used tio be , you aware of that ?"
i recalled his grand canyonmetaphor . the drip drip of erosion versus the drama of cataclysm . the last year of my life had taught me about erosion . i was toying with lesson about cataclysm . i said , " at some level i was tempted ."
"you're focusing on what's tempting , not why you're tempted . that's the trap . been there , doesn't work out ."
"go on ."
" you might be the relationship expert , but i'm the fucking up mean . and lessons are what they are .god , they are . but it sounds tome like yyou're looking for solutions in places where you ain't got no problems ."
country song ? i thought ." which means what ?"
"from where i sit , your problem is at home . if that 's the case , youcan't solve it in new york or LA . by letting the WMD out of the bunker with some hottie . that's when things go south . fot tonight at least , you avoided that . you did > alan ?" without offering me much latitude for a timely response , he added ," right ?"
"i did ."
""got to feel good about that , yes ?"
any initial reticence that sam might have felt about having this kind of conversation with me had evaporated . he was officially into it .
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