62 deadtime

. for the rest  of the afternoon i wandered between fifth and times square . i joined  in tyhe madness  while skyscrapers emptied and the streets and sidewalks filled with people  hurryping or exhaling at the end of their workdays .
my eye found  lovers  . couples holding hands . people stealing kisses . people greeting before they ducked in someplace for a drink . looks of love .
 were  a patient describing the afternoon to me , i would tell him ," you see what you're prepare to see ."
when i got back to my hotel room - i was  stayping at the pod hotel a dozen blocks away - i sat on the edge of the bed  below the air-conditioning vent until my copious sweat dried . it took a while . i paced .  although i had  splurged  for a double , squaree footage  was at a premium . i busted my shins into the desk chair before i gave up pacing and flopped on my back on the bed .
i called ottavia to cancel our dinner plans . i told her that i had sudden family busines  ; i had to go white plains to see   my son .
her voice told  me that she wdidn't believe me  , and that she was disappointed .
"i was looking forward to startingg my holiday early ," she said .
"i'm sorry ," i said .
i expectted she would say good bye  and hang up , she didn't . " alan , "  she strted , she held the silence for an interlude before she said ," i have a man i love in taormina ."
she allowed that truth to expand and fill the air before she hung up .
i couldn't decide why i had canceled . or why i had lied . the only thing . i knew for certain was why i had nmade the date in the first place . as darkness continued to fall , i knew  that a night in the city with a lovely woman was just what i needed .
i also knew the woman should have been my wife .
i vowed to stay home , within the confines of my pod . i called  lauren .