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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

76 deadtime

.  the only thhing i wouldn't have been certain of was the reason for his reticence .
me ? for the moment at least , i preferred to dwell on the fact that it was swet of alan to offer to meet me at all when he realized i was  upset . although my tears had always been hard for  him to ignore , he didn't have to make the offer to see me . and he didn't have to agree to my suggestion to strawberry field as a spot for our rendezvous .
he would not have missed the allusion . alan , as husband or therapist , has always been big on allusion . so  i knew  he still  cared .
and that is precisely why i suspected he hadn't called .
i shouldn't have started running when i saw him waiting on the far side of the garden , but i was thrilled that he was  in the city and  that he'd offered to change his plans  and com and hold my hand . but i  did start running , and once i'd started - although my new  jimy  choos were  perfect with  my outfit , they were  far from the right shoes  for a jog , however abbreviated  , in the park - i had no confidence  that  i'd be able to stop withut catching a heel , or worse , riping one of the  woven gold ropes that had started slicing into the tops of my feet , i just kept running  until i could use  alan  as a safe way to control my momentum .

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