Pages

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

79 deadtime

. i was surprised , to be honest . but he said it sounded fine to him , with some conditions ."
i shouldn't have been embarrassed to tell alan the whole story about eric's process of coming to terms with the surrgacy , but i was .eric didn't have to think about it as much he had to pray about it . the surrogate thing . eric  was uncomfortable with the anatomy and biology of it all - his values are who he is - but the bigger question for him was whether  we were interfering with god's plan .
i'd argued for all we knew using a surrogate was god's plan .
he didn't put us on this earth in the fifteen century . he put us here  in an era of reproductive options . maybe he wanted us to choose this option .
it took eric a wek  to get there . but , much to my delight , he got there .
for th year plus that i'd know eric , i've been  trying very hard to understand his relationship with god . he didn't seem any more religious than anyone  else when we were firs intoduced , but as i got to know him better , and with every piece of bad  news either of us got - and , yes , we've had our share - the ferocity of his faith redoubled .
 my fraigile faith wans under the exact same  forces . i don't undestant  that .
eric's faith - i amit the secular molecules in me have trouble  with the word - provides  him great  comfort . it certainly gives  him  strenght . although i can't understand  it ,  and at times i'm dubious about it and feeling alone , i envy him the solace he finds from his relationship with god  .
i should say " gods " . there arre definitely  distinctive gods in eric's  univeerse  of faith . the capital G god is a fearful . wrathful force  for him . a heaven -quaking , earth -fracturing power .

No comments:

Post a Comment

01.