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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

75 deadtime

. enough to know that it was an act that required much less explanation . in my business vanity is a forgiveable sin .
i'd wasted a few minutes at my desk freshening my makeup after i  hung up with alan . just some eyeliner blush . and lip gloss . i had already used a couple of minutes weighing whether to call for a network car to take me to central park for our rendezvous . my assistant thought i should just grab a cab uptown .
but with my recent luck , if i took a ab i'd end up in one that hadn't the air conditioner turned on since memorial day . after  the driver had spent half a shilf behind the wheel in an oppressively hot  taxi i knew damn well what he would smell like . i absolutely dad  not want to be all sweaty and aggravated when i finally got to the park .
still , i hesitated about the car choice because i suspected that alan would make some unnecessary assumption if he saw me arrive in a town car .
everything  has meaning in his world .
 marry a shrink , and try to get away with being mindless . i dare  you .
 i had my assistant call for the car and reminded her to ask the driver to crank up AC  before i got downstairs . hell , i've earned it . i effing have .
i didn't used to say " effing " . that's an accommodation for eric . he effing doesn't likre profanity .
alan had been in new jork for days  and didn't call me , if i hadn't phoned hm to ask for a favor , i would have known he was in town . would it have killed him to call and ask how the pregnancy  was going ?
i'm not an idiot , alan   wasn't eager to see me .
if my shrnk had asked , i probably would have given him a list of possible explanations  why alan hadn't called . but i was  already  convinced that alan hadn't told me he was in town  simly because he  didn't want to see me .

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